On Senselessness.

This is not news. We know what's been happening these past few days in Boston. The Marathon, bombings, casualties. I never even knew the word "maimed" existed until now: Boston Marathon Bombings.

Now, don't worry I will not attempt to rant on my opinion on terrorist attacks nor will this be a space I can successfully console the anxieties that my local Bostonians may feel. I'm just as uncertain, confused, in the dark as the rest of us. I think what makes it all seem surreal is that, these images in photos are familiar. I heard the sirens all day Monday near the hospital. I knew a a couple of people running the marathon, one volunteering at the finish line, another close by watching the race. It's a 20-25 minute walk from work? I was supposed to go to the Boylston area that afternoon; I walked by Copley the day before. I would get candy at the store almost every day, when studying for the MCAT last summer. That side walk will look so different now. These blood-stained, cement blocks. 

Now I'm not comparing what happened Marathon Monday to what happened to NYC. Not comparable. But there's a common theme to all these senseless acts of terror. Stupidity. Ignorance. Pure, disgusting, hate. No rhyme nor reason. Sigh, why would anyone want to endanger completely harmless people? An 8 year-old who just had his first communion, a 23 year-old grad student from China at BU and another woman, just 29 years old that a friend of mine knew from work. Let alone other people who were injured there that will look at their bodies and be reminded daily of such a horrid afternoon. Ugh I know this these injuries aren't an anomaly. People lose limbs, people die. People do hurtful things to other people. But why? Why. The way that these men did it, in such a public arena. At the finish line. At a time where most people on average finish the marathon. Where media can capture their "glory" moment? What kind of ego-filled, sadistic people would find a sense of gratification in all of this? These are people hurting people. Absolute nonsense. 

The other day I remember saying to a friend, how I love people. How we (as mankind) are so great, so capable of great things, to love, to create, to exist. .... Then, this. How is it that the very same people, capable of such love and compassion can also be of the same species that will kill and harm their own kind as bad as we do? I realize I may not be as eloquent as I want to be at the moment but what is this. Where are we - that in this world we can be capable of such terrible things. Shooting in theaters, schools, malls. Bombings at city races. Crashing of planes in buildings. The fuck, what kind of world do we live in?! Let's not forget the recent suicides of young women that were sexually abused, beatings at orphanages. When tragic stories like these come up, the question or thought that comes to mind is then  how is it that people like - that bring upon harm to others - have this sort of social amnesia. Do they forget that the lives that they harm are people, just like them, that are loved by parents, brothers, friends. How do they forget that the breath they take is the same breath as another. What enables them or justifies their actions to hurt others in such a permanent and painful way. 

As one of the bombers attempt to protect how own life by running and hiding away, did he forget that just a few days ago he put into jeopardy so many lives at risk and threw 3 others lives so easily?? He's working so hard to stay alive... To protect the very one thing he threw away with such ease. Is he admitting that a life is worth to keep? Hmph, the irony.

I pray for mercy, consolation, compassion. It's hard to want those things at a time like this because I want revenge, I want justice. But to want those things, to desire redemption but without empathy, is pointless and redundant. So until then, I can only hope for some closure soon and along with it, some peace with it too.