Lately, I've been obsessing about how things "look" and appear. Call me vain but I know it's more than that for me. I do care for my appearance (who doesn't to some extent) yet despite my sensitivity towards this, it doesn't change my behavior to enhance anything in particular. I still leave my house with my hair wet, my make-up consists of eyeliner, lip balm and possible blush - depends if I'm drinking that evening or not, because if I am, no blush is needed - and my preference in clothes is second-hand, vintage pieces over any huge brand names. I think in part, it comes from my LA Cali upbringing, where brand names and looks were a big deal. LA, Hollywood - that hood can be really shallow. Don't get me wrong, I've bought that $80 sweater for the letters WESC on it - just because. Costs isn't the issue but rather, let's be honest. What we wear, our armor tells the world how to treat us. Because we treat things differently by what we see. There are always exceptions. But for the most part, if I wore jeans, back pack, and pony tail - I would be treated differently if I wore a skirt, shoulder bag and actually combed my hair. Trust me on this, this is all from personal experience.
So then, back to the beauty issue or aesthetic predicament.
What dictates hotness? Now, I'm not trying to be some "hot girl" here, god knows that really hasn't ever been my forte. I get it, I fit the cute box. There were only very few moments in my life where the word "hot" was being referred to me and I'm pretty sure it was more in the context of the temperature of my body than so much the actual shape of it. Hah so damn true.
If to get the attention of someone requires some kind of 'pleasing to the eye' factor - then what's a person got to do? There is of course that whole "personality thing" that comes up but that doesn't seem to matter until the first word is spoken. So, then for everything leading before the first word is uttered, before that moment when personality matters, for every thing before that.. what's a girl gots to do? Okay, I'll place my disclaimer here now, let it be said that I am not fishing here. I know my strengths, I now what I can offer, and proud of those assets. No pun intended.
My college roommate is a Victoria Secret Model and though we wouldn't admit to it openly, she's treated differently partly, okay not even partially, because of how she looks. Don't get me wrong, she is wonderful and I'm not saying that her looks exclude her from forming a personality. But for some, it does. They may have no personality or worst, a horrible personality and yet they get the coveted attention because of their appeasing facial structure? I know this argument isn't new, not even creative nor surprising. Just what do we do - as the people that judge and as the people that receive that judgment - what are we to do?
... I realized I may need to stop hanging out with a bunch of dudes that objectify women. Maybe then I would not feel like this. Maybe.